Blog Wheel: Which Sesame Street characters would be the best to eat?

The worst ideas come first. Jaden didn’t even try to give me a shitty idea this week. His race is officially over. He’s caught lighting in a bottle a few weeks in a row, but he doesn’t have the ability to win the worst idea consistently.

Pathetic effort. To be fair to Jaden, I don’t know if anyone could have beaten this week’s winner. Our boy Mike Miller (@profmikeimo) came out on top with perhaps the worst blog post in the history of blog posts.

Mike’s topic is bad for so many reasons. First, how do I go about writing this? I’ve been to 3 NFL stadiums my whole life. Even if I was a hardcore NFL guy who’s been to 15 different stadiums, I’d still need to research half of the league. Do you know how much work it would take to write this blog? Who do I speak to ? I had to contact the fans of every team in the league and basically ask them about the parking situation. There’s no way I’m doing that.

Even if I could write this blog, who would it be for? Is there anyone trying to decide which NFL game they go to this year based on the stadium parking lot? No, this person does not exist. Congratulations Mike you won the crown this week.

Topics on the wheel this week were:

– Pyramid Bass Pro Shop

– Which Sesame Street characters would make the best meal?

– Better vowels

– Best Ball

– Which Barstool employees would be the easiest to draw?

– Easter Island vs an island where it’s always Easter

– Subjects that should be added to secondary school curricula and subjects they would replace

– Better wheels

Here is the spin

I think the Easter Island one was my favorite, but I’m happy with the Sesame Street characters. Thanks @LearnBall There are many to choose from. Someone on Twitter asked me if @LearnBall meant which Sesame Street characters would be the best to eat, or which Sesame Street characters would cook the best meals? I’m not sure what he meant, but I’m going to discuss the best Sesame Street characters. I wouldn’t trust any of them to cook for me.

Which Sesame Street characters would be the best tasting meal?

big bird

Giphy pictures.

Big Bird is obviously a delicious choice. Chicken, turkey, duck and pheasant are all tasty birds, so I have no reason to believe Big Bird wouldn’t be so tasty. Usually when you cook a bird there is enough meat to feed a handful of people. The birds are generally small. Big Bird, on the other hand, should be enough to last you all winter. The internet tells me that a deer produces about 60 pounds of edible meat, and I think Big Bird is bigger than most deer. If you carry a Big Bird, you can feed your family for months. I don’t know what’s going on with Big Birds legs. Is there meat in there or are they just extensions of his talons? I am not sure. I think I’d be more excited to eat Big Bird’s ass.

Mr. Snuffleupagus

Giphy pictures.

This one hurts me to say it. I’m a big fan of Mr. Snuffleupagus, and I would never want to hurt him. Something about the ‘M.’ before his names really humanized him. I could never bring myself to shoot Mr. Snuffleupagus 3 times in the head with a shotgun, drag his dead carcass to my giant pyre, hang him up by his feet, then peel his skin off and tearing pieces of Snuffleupagus meat from him. body. I couldn’t do that. But, if I’m being honest with myself, it would be delicious. Think of a fresh cut of Snuffleupagus jerky. It would be amazing. Also, if Big Bird feeds a family for the winter, Mr. Snuffleupagus will feed you for an entire year. You would, however, need a very large freezer room to store it.

Damn… I just found a really disturbing GIF. It seems that Mr. Snuffleupagus has a family. It hurts.

Giphy pictures.

Monster Cookie

Giphy pictures.

With Cookie Monster, you get the best of both worlds. You get your protein from monster meat, and given its diet, it probably tastes like delicious cookies. Cookie Monster would be dessert meat. It could be the very first dessert meat. I don’t think I’d be too upset about killing Cookie Monster either. He’s a crack addict. He is a threat to society.

Just look at the way he treats Kermit. You can’t reason with him. He can’t control his emotions. He is unbalanced 100% of the time. I would be doing Cookie Monster and the rest of the world a favor by getting him out of his miserable existence. It would be as simple as leaving a plate of cookies on my windowsill. I could either shoot him with a gun or set a monster trap.

Kermit the Frog

Giphy pictures.

Speaking of Kermit the Frog, I would eat that too. I don’t know if I’ve ever eaten frog legs, but I know some people like to eat them. Normally, frog legs are very short, but Kermit’s legs are long. You can eat them like corn on the cob, suck on them like a popsicle, or deepthroat them like a party trick. I don’t know if other parts of Kermit would be edible.

Fozzy Bear

Giphy pictures.

I’m a bit confused as to the difference between Sesame Street characters and Muppet characters. I was sure Fozzy Bear was a Muppet, but I found the GIF of him with Kermit that made me think otherwise. But Kermit is clearly a Muppet too, isn’t he? Are all Sesame Street characters Muppets, but not all Muppets are Sesame Street characters? I think that must be the case.

Either way, if he shows up in Sesame Street, I’ll kill Fozzy Bear. There’s nothing I hate more than a hack comedian. But do people really eat bear meat, or is it more of a trophy hunt? At a minimum, I would mount his head on my wall or make a large bearskin rug to cover over 50% of the floor in my apartment.

Characters that wouldn’t be tasty

Elmo – Too much of a skinny pussy. Wouldn’t be tender and wouldn’t yield a lot of meat. He would also be too nice to be killed

Bert & Ernie – Way too much like humans. i am not a cannibal

count of count – Also too human. I don’t think vampire content is edible anyway. The vampires are already dead (I think), so the meat would be rotten. In fact, if there was one character I would allow to cook me a meal, it would be Count von Count, because he would be good at measuring. And before anyone said anything, I looked, the Swedish chef is not a Sesame Street character.

Oscar the Grouch – He lives in a trash can

Grover – I don’t care enough about Grover to comment on him

Okay, that was a pretty open and closed deal. I also wouldn’t eat the little kids that are on the show. Like Julia, or the little pink monster in the next GIF.

Giphy pictures.

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