Body Image – My New Orleans

Fight against weight and willpower

It’s the time of year when many people’s New Year’s resolutions begin to fall apart as resolution wanes and old habits resume.

I haven’t even made any resolutions and yet I still find myself depressed and frustrated by my lack of motivation.

Two and a half years ago, I managed to lose a lot of weight by meticulously recording every calorie I ate. When I reached a weight I was happy with, I stopped being so obsessive and mostly managed to stay where I was by keeping an eye on my food choices and trying to exercise. regularly.

This all worked fine until in fairly close succession I returned to work at the office and was no longer able to take Zoom calls on my exercise bike, but instead sat at my desk all the day ; I lost my mother suddenly and had no appetite for anything, but when I did it was carbs and cheese and carbs with cheese; and the hurricane hit forcing us all to scatter and feed ourselves on convenience store snacks, fast food and various non-perishables like jerky and all the ice cream we had to eat when the freezer stopped working .

By the time the holidays came around this year, I had regained a lot of the weight I had lost, so I more or less shrugged my shoulders and said, “I’ll worry about it after I eat my plank. New Year’s Eve charcuterie with champagne.

The problem is, now it’s after New Year’s Eve, and I don’t wow at. I don’t mind eating salads for lunch and exercising a few times a week, but that’s not enough to move the scales. And I have no desire to give up pasta; joining a gym (ew, germs, even pre-COVID); doing intermittent fasting (I have a headache and I’m hungry); or going back to tracking every single one of my calories, which led to Google searches like “how many calories in an olive” and “how many calories in a single Jolly Rancher.” I know for sure that I’d rather never be able to button up my skinny jeans again than put another bite of skinny cooking in my mouth, and maybe that’s my answer.

Maybe the truth is that if I eat mostly healthy (with occasional indulgence) and exercise frequently (several times a week), my body just wants to be the weight it has, and I don’t I don’t need to take drastic measures. measures. I’m still in a healthy range; I just can’t fit into any of my college dresses.

And I guess that makes sense…because I’m not in college anymore. My imperfect body has grown and supported two real human beings, and I’m grateful to be strong and healthy at this point in my life.

Maybe what I need to work on is changing my mindset rather than my waistline?

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