Man for Food (Vegan): George White takes on the Sneinton Vegan Market Challenge
Everyone wants to leave their mark on the world. Do something they can be really proud of. Go to places that people have never been to and do things that people have never done. Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Lance Armstrong made the headlines for… other reasons. For Left lionEditorial Assistant George White, there was only one thing to do. You guessed it – eat as much food as you can at the Sneinton Vegan Market in a Man for food-esque challenge, preferably without throwing up. We all have a dream, don’t we? From double cheeseburgers to a slice of rainbow blondie, this is how he fared on a scorching morning in town…
Food: Chewing gum ice cream
Price: £ 3.50
Time: 10:10 a.m.
I start with the only thing that makes sense – ice cream. I know, starting with dessert would make Sat Bains cringe, but after seeing the brilliant blue of this chewing gum delight sparkle in the sun, I just can’t resist. And you know what? It comes down an absolute treat. Vegan ice cream is as good as the real one. I said it. And V-Ice Screams is one of the best. With my bowels now well oiled, I move on to salty things …
Food: Meat roll
Price: £ 2.00
Time: 10:25 a.m.
After cooling my mouth with a refreshing scoop of goodness, it’s time to get spicy. Ride the meaty roll of Khatti Meethi which, as you can probably imagine, isn’t meaty at all. It’s damn beautiful anyway. With a magnificent blend of flavors and spices, all carefully wrapped in a crispy shell, it is the work of the gods. No exaggeration. For his size, he’s surprisingly filling, but he’s no match for this man. I pretty much swallowed it up in one.
These vegan pizza guys
Food: Slice of cheese and mushroom pizza
Price: £ 3.50
Now I am not a vegan (although I am a vegetarian so I still consider myself superior to meat eaters…) but I have tried many vegan pizzas. And, in truth, most of the time, the cheese is the downfall. These Vegan Pizza Guys do a hell of a job, it must be said. In fact, this might be the tastiest vegan pizza I’ve had – confirmed by the fact that I smash the slice in under five seconds. Top stuff.
Food: Sushi To roll
Price: £ 6.00
Time: 10:40 a.m.
Going for vegan sushi that has never eaten sushi before is a bold move, but I take a punt anyway… And there are instant regrets. The sushi roll is beautifully made and is clearly filled with premium ingredients, but my picky palate just doesn’t have it. If you like this stuff, you will love it. Unfortunately, I am not. It’s not you, Herbivore, it’s me… At least I saved some space in my stomach for what follows.
Food: Double Cheeseburger + Chips
Price: £ 6.50
Time: 10:44 am
It’s here. The big boy. Vegan cheese. Two burgers. Salad. No pickles (a decision that brings a look of borderline disgust from those around me). It’s a work of art that rivals Beyond Meat and Moving Mountains as the best in the business, and it also comes with a hearty order of fries. It’s delicious, but definitely heavy. For the first time, I feel the elastic of my shorts expand. Are they fake meat sweats or real heat sweats? Who knows more …
Clemie’s Vegan Cakes
Food: Rainbow blonde hair
Price: £ 2.50
About to throw in the towel, I engage in a (real) dessert. I could go get a little cupcake, sure, but the big rainbow blonde is calling. Densely wrapped with melting white chocolate and topped with sprinkles, it’s a treat for the taste buds – but a challenge for the tum tum. I’m leaving out of sheer stubbornness, and because it’s so good. But crikey, it devastated me. It’s nap time, I think …
You can visit the Sneinton Vegan Market on the first and third Saturdays of each month from 10 a.m.